Scarylion.org

So I’ve not been doing so good recently,  life just doesnt seem to be going anywhere and I feel as if i’m sinking back down into that horrible hole with all the piss and the shit.  And that is a place I do not wish t o be ever again,  the medication is helping a bit but still, it seems at the moment that everything is just so utterly pointless you know? and it makes me tired, so god damn tired sometimes i wish i could just sleep it all away and wake up in some better time when they have a cure for this pointless disease.

I seem to be incapable of taking pleasure in anything anymore, food has no taste, time goes so damn slow, things I used to enjoy now seem hollow and pointless.  I put a smiley face on ofcourse for the outside world, work, friends etc.. but to be honest i’m just so sick and tired of everything.  Worse of all though is the fact that I go out of my way to help people who I acually give a shit about and all i get in return is fucked over, why cant some people accept that not everybody has ulterior motives, some of us just genuinly want others to be happy and help them out, all my motives are is if i can make somebody else feel better then I dont feel quite so shitty about my pointless excuse for a lifefor a while, Does that make me so bad? selfish? I dont know, but I do know that I dont deserve the shit I get in return (perv? me? honestly, fuck off thats the last time i try helping you) Like I say i’m just so tired of it.

Fuck my ass I need a holiday.